I just want to sleep in; just an hour. That's all this lady wants.
This was my morning:
I was rather snuggled in bed having shooed the girls to the playroom with some cheerios and water (sounds like jail).
Just as I was dozing off I roll over and just glare at Steve.
Steve: oh you can hear that?
Me: (insert inappropriate name) You're a foot away from me in bed and it's on speaker, YEAH I CAN HEAR IT!
I guess I'll wait for that extra hour...
Friday, August 23, 2013
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Damn-it Steve: Is Pushing OK?
Damn-it Steve: Is Pushing OK?: On this cold and nasty day we took the girls to Co-Cos, a bouncy house place, in hopes of getting all the wiggles out. At one point I h...
Is Pushing OK?
On this cold and nasty day we took the girls to Co-Cos, a
bouncy house place, in hopes of getting all the wiggles out.
At one point I heard H crying and when I walked over to the
bouncy house she was on Steve was holding her.
Me: oh no did she get hurt?
S: yes, she’s fine
Me: did she fall?
Slyly as he is smiling which means he is involved…
S: yes…,(followed by, quietly very quietly), because I
pushed her.
I think he thinks it’s funny to watch kids fall on bouncy
houses….so do I. That’s half the reason
I take them, to laugh hysterically as they bounce and slide and fall all over
the place. Their facial expressions are priceless.
But I don’t push them to get the party started….not that I
would admit to anyway!
Friday, February 22, 2013
Slap Time or Nap Time?
We were getting the girls ready for "rest" time today as they were finishing up lunch when I heard from the kitchen this conversation:
Steve: OK girls it's either nap time or slap time.
Without even missing a beat they both yell: SLAP TIME
I looked at him and said, "you just gave them an option and I'm pretty sure they chose the option you were hoping they won't and now you are stuck with it."
With that being said I told him that means he deals with them while I do what needs to get done over the next hour that is usually sacred time and then deal with the melt down from being tired in the early evening.
Next conversation:
Steve; do you even know what slap time is?
Girls: No (not that they cared they just didn't want to be stuck in bed.)
Steve: it's when I just spank you (and gave a sample with his hands)
Girls: Noooo
And off they went.
I'm glad they are out of school so I don't have to explain that Daddy spanks them over and over if they pick slap time over nap time.
Steve: OK girls it's either nap time or slap time.
Without even missing a beat they both yell: SLAP TIME
I looked at him and said, "you just gave them an option and I'm pretty sure they chose the option you were hoping they won't and now you are stuck with it."
With that being said I told him that means he deals with them while I do what needs to get done over the next hour that is usually sacred time and then deal with the melt down from being tired in the early evening.
Next conversation:
Steve; do you even know what slap time is?
Girls: No (not that they cared they just didn't want to be stuck in bed.)
Steve: it's when I just spank you (and gave a sample with his hands)
Girls: Noooo
And off they went.
I'm glad they are out of school so I don't have to explain that Daddy spanks them over and over if they pick slap time over nap time.
Monday, February 11, 2013
Not Surprising
Same old thing, different season. In the summer it's sand boobies in the winter it's snow boobies. Here she is trying to give herself snow boobies like Daddy did when he buried her the day before.
No wonder I wasn't surprised that she strolled out in my bra today....the only thing shocking was how worn out it was. Geesh!
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Friday, February 1, 2013
February Question 1
Being the month of love and a month full of birthdays to those I
love including my hubby wubs I’ve decided to dedicate a special question of the day for the month in his honor. It will be a question
that you must answer in the comments.
These questions will be a simple Steve or Girls as the answer. Sounds easy? Sounds fun?
These questions will be a simple Steve or Girls as the answer. Sounds easy? Sounds fun?
So I leave you with this….who said:
“Come pet my puppy…hard.”
Steve or the girls?
Friday, January 25, 2013
DON'T Say This...Ever
I don't think there is a woman in town that will like you after this post Steve! Ha-ha but I'm putting it out there anyway.
Steve went to kiss me good-bye as he left for work this morning. I was still in bed, very sleepy, opened my eyes to say good bye. Yeah that sounds all super sweet right?
Well...he said, "ooh don't make that face." Then he tried to spread out my forehead. Then he said, "hmm you could stand a quarter up in there."
WRINKLES!
He started laughing hysterically. Whether he was serious or not you just don't say things like that to women....especially vain ones.
Steve went to kiss me good-bye as he left for work this morning. I was still in bed, very sleepy, opened my eyes to say good bye. Yeah that sounds all super sweet right?
Well...he said, "ooh don't make that face." Then he tried to spread out my forehead. Then he said, "hmm you could stand a quarter up in there."
WRINKLES!
He started laughing hysterically. Whether he was serious or not you just don't say things like that to women....especially vain ones.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Can Your Man Listen?
Just when I thought things were getting boring or less annoying things like this happen.
I'm a woman. I'm a wife. I'm a mother. You add this together and you come up with nag...apparently. I tend to err on the side of neat and clean while Steve is the opposite. He claims no one can ever possibly be "Kerry" clean but I disagree; argument for another time.
The other difference is I know I can't focus unless I'm looking at the person talking and if they are going to talk for long you are going to have a very spaced out looking Kerry 30 minutes in. That is my max. I can, however, multitask like a champ. Steve...cannot.
This is an ongoing argument. He claims he is listening but he isn't and usually an argument breaks out. Today didn't end in the usual way.
Having a snow day threw me off my game and I was desperately trying to get a few things done for work before Steve left.
I am going to insert a photo here.
When I left the bedroom to find Steve there was only the basket on the chair....NOTHING ELSE. I asked Steve to get the girls and in the basket on the chair were their undergarments and socks. Please everyone get theirs out and put them away. I put all the clothes away already.
That was it. Simple task. When I walked in I knew that the pile on the floor was the dirty clothes. How did I know that? Because I had been putting them in the hamper for 2 days as I found them on the floor.
This was amazing to me so I went into the office and asked Steve what he thought I said. He thought I asked him to dump the dirty clothes on the floor by the basket.
Why would I ask you to do that? I have never in my life asked something like that. I always carry the hamper to the laundry room. Whatever! And the kicker was how he left the hamper.
Was it really that difficult to put back on? In this instance I was glad for his "laziness" as I had my hands full putting the dirty clothes back:)
So as it stands he can't multi-task and he doesn't listen and now I have proof....BOOYA!!
I'm a woman. I'm a wife. I'm a mother. You add this together and you come up with nag...apparently. I tend to err on the side of neat and clean while Steve is the opposite. He claims no one can ever possibly be "Kerry" clean but I disagree; argument for another time.
The other difference is I know I can't focus unless I'm looking at the person talking and if they are going to talk for long you are going to have a very spaced out looking Kerry 30 minutes in. That is my max. I can, however, multitask like a champ. Steve...cannot.
This is an ongoing argument. He claims he is listening but he isn't and usually an argument breaks out. Today didn't end in the usual way.
Having a snow day threw me off my game and I was desperately trying to get a few things done for work before Steve left.
I am going to insert a photo here.
When I left the bedroom to find Steve there was only the basket on the chair....NOTHING ELSE. I asked Steve to get the girls and in the basket on the chair were their undergarments and socks. Please everyone get theirs out and put them away. I put all the clothes away already.
That was it. Simple task. When I walked in I knew that the pile on the floor was the dirty clothes. How did I know that? Because I had been putting them in the hamper for 2 days as I found them on the floor.
This was amazing to me so I went into the office and asked Steve what he thought I said. He thought I asked him to dump the dirty clothes on the floor by the basket.
Why would I ask you to do that? I have never in my life asked something like that. I always carry the hamper to the laundry room. Whatever! And the kicker was how he left the hamper.
So as it stands he can't multi-task and he doesn't listen and now I have proof....BOOYA!!
Sunday, January 20, 2013
STEVE!!!!!!!!!!
I was trying to sneak out of the house so I could knock out the grocery shopping quickly when H started begging to go.
I told her I was going to an adult store to which Steve said, "a nudey bar."
That should go over well.
Thanks Steve.
Now the mommy's in our mommy group are going to think I'm some sick horny slut with bad taste. Living on the Eastern Shore I can only imagine the type of nudey bars this town holds.
I told her I was going to an adult store to which Steve said, "a nudey bar."
That should go over well.
Thanks Steve.
Now the mommy's in our mommy group are going to think I'm some sick horny slut with bad taste. Living on the Eastern Shore I can only imagine the type of nudey bars this town holds.
Friday, January 18, 2013
Friday, November 23, 2012
Not Surprising
We were discussing the Thanksgiving holiday with the girls and all the yummy foods we were making, when we got to gravy they looked confused.
L: what's gravy?
S: it's a topping you pour on turkey and mashed potatoes; its delicious
L& H still confused looking : but what does it look like?
S: it's brownish and liquidy
L&H both turned their confused face to a sort of disgusted look.
S: it looks like liquid poop.
Nice. Needless to say they did not try the gravy.
L: what's gravy?
S: it's a topping you pour on turkey and mashed potatoes; its delicious
L& H still confused looking : but what does it look like?
S: it's brownish and liquidy
L&H both turned their confused face to a sort of disgusted look.
S: it looks like liquid poop.
Nice. Needless to say they did not try the gravy.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Setting Good Examples....
Luckily it didn't work.....
HA! He is a funny man but this looks like a man who can't walk or a product of the lazy town we live in. Either way H thought this was going to be a blast and I'm sure for months to come I will have to divert her from the mobilized wheel chair/cart.
HA! He is a funny man but this looks like a man who can't walk or a product of the lazy town we live in. Either way H thought this was going to be a blast and I'm sure for months to come I will have to divert her from the mobilized wheel chair/cart.
Monday, October 8, 2012
Hippity Hop Hide
I certainly do not have to worry about my girls being tough. Playing with Steve has caused them to be stronger than most kids twice their age. This is one example of their toughness.
This adorable little playhouse was given to the girls by their uncle Rob years ago. It has been a lifesaver! they love it and use it all the time. When we first got it Steve used plastic paint to give it a new look. Time and Steve has caused that paint to chip. It doesn't destroy the fun aspect though.
In this little game Steve takes the girls hippity hops and slams it against their house as they scream from inside. As he hits the house, it shakes and the windows open and sometimes (the key to the game) the door flings open, along with paint.
Once the door flings open he throws the hippity hop inside and like a pinball it flings all over the inside knocking the girls down until they manage to crawl out.
It is really funny and as most things with Steve, pictures do not even give the slightest insight to the chaos!
This adorable little playhouse was given to the girls by their uncle Rob years ago. It has been a lifesaver! they love it and use it all the time. When we first got it Steve used plastic paint to give it a new look. Time and Steve has caused that paint to chip. It doesn't destroy the fun aspect though.
In this little game Steve takes the girls hippity hops and slams it against their house as they scream from inside. As he hits the house, it shakes and the windows open and sometimes (the key to the game) the door flings open, along with paint.
Once the door flings open he throws the hippity hop inside and like a pinball it flings all over the inside knocking the girls down until they manage to crawl out.
It is really funny and as most things with Steve, pictures do not even give the slightest insight to the chaos!
Thursday, October 4, 2012
No Words for These Words
It's my time of the month and during this time I just want to lay around watching bad TV and eating junk food. What woman doesn't? Give us a break for a few days a month!
So I'm enjoying my quiet time watching Burlesque, yes that cheesy movie with Christina and Cher, but the singing and costumes are so fun!
Suddenly I hear this little voice come out of nowhere.
H: Momma? What are you doing?
K: Watching TV, relaxing.
H: Daddy says your watching dirty TV
Eyes burning and about to pop out of my eyes. I walk her back upstairs and of course he's giggling when I ask him.
So while I was up there I went to the bathroom to take care of some girlie business. Once again H sneaks up on me and I ask her to leave for a minute.
H: why Momma?
K: it's just woman stuff
S: Get out unless you want to sky rocket to puberty.
I look at him and he starts laughing because what he said really didn't even make much sense but H was staring up at him ready to pounce with questions and certainly the wrong pronunciation of puberty.
Before this could start he dodges a bullet by asking her to show him where the skittles are. IT'S 10:00 AT NIGHT! EVERYONE GET TO BED!
All I could think was thank GOD they don't have school tomorrow....
So I'm enjoying my quiet time watching Burlesque, yes that cheesy movie with Christina and Cher, but the singing and costumes are so fun!
Suddenly I hear this little voice come out of nowhere.
H: Momma? What are you doing?
K: Watching TV, relaxing.
H: Daddy says your watching dirty TV
Eyes burning and about to pop out of my eyes. I walk her back upstairs and of course he's giggling when I ask him.
So while I was up there I went to the bathroom to take care of some girlie business. Once again H sneaks up on me and I ask her to leave for a minute.
H: why Momma?
K: it's just woman stuff
S: Get out unless you want to sky rocket to puberty.
I look at him and he starts laughing because what he said really didn't even make much sense but H was staring up at him ready to pounce with questions and certainly the wrong pronunciation of puberty.
Before this could start he dodges a bullet by asking her to show him where the skittles are. IT'S 10:00 AT NIGHT! EVERYONE GET TO BED!
All I could think was thank GOD they don't have school tomorrow....
Thursday, September 20, 2012
A Day with Daddy
Now that I am working again, the girls spend more time with Daddy. All of the things they do are fun but not all the things they do are safe.
I'm convinced that men don't truly think of the consequences therefore the women come off as nags because we think of all the ways certain scenarios can go wrong.
First is spray painting the dog house. I get a little paranoid about the girls ingesting all the spray paint fumes but I'm probably just being a nervous Nelly. This is in honor of Aunt Tammy who was a die-hard spirited girl in high school and these (red, white and black) were our school colors.
I walked out of the room telling myself he is more than capable of handling his own kids and I need to calm down. I then heard, "NO H, you can't stand on top of the bed!" And then the fort was taken apart.
I just walked down the hall smiling to myself.
OH I forgot to add how he put them to bed. It's nothing to complain about I just think it's funny all the books in her bed, ha-ha.
I'm convinced that men don't truly think of the consequences therefore the women come off as nags because we think of all the ways certain scenarios can go wrong.
First is spray painting the dog house. I get a little paranoid about the girls ingesting all the spray paint fumes but I'm probably just being a nervous Nelly. This is in honor of Aunt Tammy who was a die-hard spirited girl in high school and these (red, white and black) were our school colors.
Next is mowing the lawn. This is fine also. I don't think anything can really go wrong here aside of one being flung off since he likes to drive fast, cut corners quickly for laughs and let them actually drive.
Lastly is the fort. When I walked in the room I did think how fun Steve is but I knew it wouldn't end well. Before I even got the words out he shushed me.
I walked out of the room telling myself he is more than capable of handling his own kids and I need to calm down. I then heard, "NO H, you can't stand on top of the bed!" And then the fort was taken apart.
I just walked down the hall smiling to myself.
OH I forgot to add how he put them to bed. It's nothing to complain about I just think it's funny all the books in her bed, ha-ha.
Saturday, August 18, 2012
This is Embarrassing
I'm embarrassed to write this but it is funny. So funny that when I tried to yell at Steve I kept laughing because I can't believe what an idiot he is sometimes, and I mean that lovingly.
We were playing memory with the girls (using the candy land cards which is a great idea- the chances of getting a match are higher and they are too young to focus on the actual candy land game).
OK I'm digressing. We make a big high-fiving deal every time someone gets a match; like a big team high-five, well dumba** thought the girls weren't looking so he high-fived my chest.
I looked at him like he was an idiot. I didn't think the girls saw until the next match was found and H high-fived my chest.
How am I going to explain this at school?
H to teacher: when we do something great at home we high-five Mommy in her boobies.
Steve's justification is that I should be flattered after all these years together he is still doing things like this....
We were playing memory with the girls (using the candy land cards which is a great idea- the chances of getting a match are higher and they are too young to focus on the actual candy land game).
OK I'm digressing. We make a big high-fiving deal every time someone gets a match; like a big team high-five, well dumba** thought the girls weren't looking so he high-fived my chest.
I looked at him like he was an idiot. I didn't think the girls saw until the next match was found and H high-fived my chest.
How am I going to explain this at school?
H to teacher: when we do something great at home we high-five Mommy in her boobies.
Steve's justification is that I should be flattered after all these years together he is still doing things like this....
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Have you Seen a Cuter Scene?
I love walking in on moments like this....
I'm so glad my pit bull is vicious and on the verge of being banned and that my husband is uninvolved in my girls lives.
I really have to hang around for another game of Memory before I get to attack you again....boring!
I'm so glad my pit bull is vicious and on the verge of being banned and that my husband is uninvolved in my girls lives.
I really have to hang around for another game of Memory before I get to attack you again....boring!
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Bad Mommy
Well that Stevie got one over on me again.
During a very stressful morning he thought he would lighten the mood with a good ol' pantsing.
Didn't work.
I, without a thought and quick as lightening, back-handed him in the face.
Normally this wouldn't bother me or him since he is the one gambling.
But on this particular morning I was scrambling to get the girls ready for school so they both witnessed it.
EYES WIDE with shock they yelled a stern "MOMMY NO HITTING!"
Steve, of course, played this up like he was hurt.
Weasel.
So I had to tell them they were right and what a bad Mommy I was for hitting and no one should hit and I broke the rules and many I'm sorrys and I need a time out and blah blah blah.
Well played Steve, well played.
During a very stressful morning he thought he would lighten the mood with a good ol' pantsing.
Didn't work.
I, without a thought and quick as lightening, back-handed him in the face.
Normally this wouldn't bother me or him since he is the one gambling.
But on this particular morning I was scrambling to get the girls ready for school so they both witnessed it.
EYES WIDE with shock they yelled a stern "MOMMY NO HITTING!"
Steve, of course, played this up like he was hurt.
Weasel.
So I had to tell them they were right and what a bad Mommy I was for hitting and no one should hit and I broke the rules and many I'm sorrys and I need a time out and blah blah blah.
Well played Steve, well played.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
What is a Trash Can?
I must be confused because when I went to get my laundry basket I found it in the closet.
Not so unusual but instead of clothes being in there I found trash.
Steve was cleaning and instead of getting an actual trashcan he grabbed the laundry basket.
I'm pretty sure he found this basket in the bathroom next to an actual trashcan.
Not so unusual but instead of clothes being in there I found trash.
Steve was cleaning and instead of getting an actual trashcan he grabbed the laundry basket.
I'm pretty sure he found this basket in the bathroom next to an actual trashcan.
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