STEVE!!!!!!!!!!

I was trying to sneak out of the house so I could knock out the grocery shopping quickly when H started begging to go.
I told her I was going to an adult store to which Steve said, "a nudey bar." 
That should go over well.
Thanks Steve.
Now the mommy's in our mommy group are going to think I'm some sick horny slut with bad taste. Living on the Eastern Shore I can only imagine the type of nudey bars this town holds.

Annoying & Dangerous

Not Surprising

We were discussing the Thanksgiving holiday with the girls and all the yummy foods we were making, when we got to gravy they looked confused.

L: what's gravy?

S: it's a topping you pour on turkey and mashed potatoes; its delicious

L& H still confused looking : but what does it look like?

S: it's brownish and liquidy

L&H both turned their confused face to a sort of disgusted look.

S: it looks like liquid poop.

Nice.  Needless to say they did not try the gravy.

Setting Good Examples....

Luckily it didn't work.....

HA! He is a funny man but this looks like a man who can't walk or a product of the lazy town we live in.  Either way H thought this was going to be a blast and I'm sure for months to come I will have to divert her from the mobilized wheel chair/cart.

Hippity Hop Hide

I certainly do not have to worry about my girls being tough.  Playing with Steve has caused them to be stronger than most kids twice their age.  This is one example of their toughness.

This adorable little playhouse was given to the girls by their uncle Rob years ago.  It has been a lifesaver!  they love it and use it all the time.  When we first got it Steve used plastic paint to give it a new look.  Time and Steve has caused that paint to chip.  It doesn't destroy the fun aspect though.
In this little game Steve takes the girls hippity hops and slams it against their house as they scream from inside.  As he hits the house, it shakes and the windows open and sometimes (the key to the game) the door flings open, along with paint. 

Once the door flings open he throws the hippity hop inside and like a pinball it flings all over the inside knocking the girls down until they manage to crawl out.

It is really funny and as most things with Steve, pictures do not even give the slightest insight to the chaos!

No Words for These Words

It's my time of the month and during this time I just want to lay around watching bad TV and eating junk food.  What woman doesn't?  Give us a break for a few days a month!

So I'm enjoying my quiet time watching Burlesque, yes that cheesy movie with Christina and Cher, but the singing and costumes are so fun!

Suddenly I hear this little voice come out of nowhere.

H: Momma?  What are you doing?
K: Watching TV, relaxing.
H: Daddy says your watching dirty TV

Eyes burning and about to pop out of my eyes.  I walk her back upstairs and of course he's giggling when I ask him.

So while I was up there I went to the bathroom to take care of some girlie business.  Once again H sneaks up on me and I ask her to leave for a minute.

H: why Momma?
K: it's just woman stuff
S: Get out unless you want to sky rocket to puberty.

I look at him and he starts laughing because what he said really didn't even make much sense but H was staring up at him ready to pounce with questions and certainly the wrong pronunciation of puberty.

Before this could start he dodges a bullet by asking her to show him where the skittles are.   IT'S 10:00 AT NIGHT!  EVERYONE GET TO BED!

All I could think was thank GOD they don't have school tomorrow.... 

A Day with Daddy

Now that I am working again, the girls spend more time with Daddy.  All of the things they do are fun but not all the things they do are safe.

I'm convinced that men don't truly think of the consequences therefore the women come off as nags because we think of all the ways certain scenarios can go wrong.

First is spray painting the dog house.  I get a little paranoid about the girls ingesting all the spray paint fumes but I'm probably just being a nervous Nelly.  This is in honor of Aunt Tammy who was a die-hard spirited girl in high school and these (red, white and black) were our school colors.

 



Next is mowing the lawn.  This is fine also.  I don't think anything can really go wrong here aside of one being flung off since he likes to drive fast, cut corners quickly for laughs and let them actually drive.

 

 

 

Lastly is the fort.  When I walked in the room I did think how fun Steve is but I knew it wouldn't end well.  Before I even got the words out he shushed me.

 

 

I walked out of the room telling myself he is more than capable of handling his own kids and I need to calm down.  I then heard, "NO H, you can't stand on top of the bed!"  And then the fort was taken apart.

I just walked down the hall smiling to myself.

OH I forgot to add how he put them to bed.  It's nothing to complain about I just think it's funny all the books in her bed, ha-ha.