I have Nothing to say About This....

OK that's not true, I do have something to say.  When I came home and saw this I shook my head and was about to get annoyed when I realized at least he put more butter in the dish after he finished it.  Next step, how to properly put butter in a butter dish.

The Throwing Game

The other day I had an appointment and came home to the girls running around dodging Daddy.  He plays this game with them where he will sit on the couch and they will run around and he will chuck the couch pillows at them, not toss but literally the object is to knock them over.
OK well this time he was throwing balls at them.  I assumed they were their little foamy balls but no it was a plastic golf ball.  He accidentally hit me and it stung so bad as I immediately flung a glare at him.  There was a red mark on my head; I can't imagine what kind of imprint it will leave on the girls.
They laugh hysterically when they get hit.  My thought is they don't really feel it with all the adrenaline they have surging threw them!
"Steve, do you really think it is smart in any way to teach them to chuck things, especially hard things, at each other?"
Honestly, how is this story going to end???
I'm waiting....
And of course I'll let you know.

The Log

I'm trying to get some work done when L walks in and asks me if I've seen H's log?  H's Log?  What are you talking about?  She says her poop log!  So I walk into the bathroom and sure enough she is pooping away.  They must have been discussing it because there is a chair in there along with a roll of toilet paper wrapped in a ball. L explained to me I was going to need it for such a big log. 
Yes, sure enough there is quite a log in the toilet.
H gets up and assumes the usual postion for me to wipe and L says eww there's a turd, which there wasn't.  Then she says how gross she is and runs off.
I'm not really sure why L is calling H gross when she is the master pooper.
I'm pretty sure all these poop, log and turd conversations are a result of their Daddy.

The Hanger

As Steve was getting ready for work I told him I was feeling very anxious.  He asked the standard why?  (he can usually help me work it out) I said I'm sure it's not the main reason but this house is a mess.  As I am saying this he steps on a hanger and instead of picking it up he kicks it behind him.
I just looked at him and said most adults would have picked it up.
He instantly started laughing and I just shook my head and walked away proving my point without saying a word.

Drinking From the Carton

I came around the corner this morning and was able to capture this.  She was helping me get the morning milk. Need I say anything else? ERG

Momma's got a big ol' butt

It seems as though this story deserves a spot on damn-it Steve.  As I was walking the girls into pre-school a few weeks ago they were singing, clear as glass, "Momma's got a big ol' butt, ahh yeah!"  How embarrassing as I didn't realize they knew that song.
Luckily they have very cool teachers.
That was a few weeks ago and I forgot all about it until they went with my sister to pick up their cousins and continued with the singing but added things like belly, head, foot.
Some songs really should not be taught to 3 year olds esp ones that go out in public often.
Until LL starts singing about kids, keep him to the keg parties.

Valentine's Day

I wasn't sure whether to put this post in Damn-it Steve or here so you can decide.  Another holiday where every Mother, it seems, is on her game with super-duper homemade cards attached with homemade candy and personalized shirts for their kid to wear to school.  Gag!  Oh don't get me wrong I want to be that Mom but ain't no way it's happening.  I was happy with the fact that my girls signed (first initial only) all their Valentines for their class mates. 
I did get the girls some treats, not much just a simple box/basket and filled it with some heart shaped candy and stickers.  I got them all set up and put them away in the laundry room to give to them today.  So last night I told Steve keep an eye on the girls while I run upstairs for a minute.  I guess about 15 minutes later I come down and the girls are unwrapping their lollipops and putting their stickers on Steve.  UGH!  I snatched everything back up and put them back where they belonged. 
Seriously how did I sneak all this stuff into the cart at the store without them seeing, make it home, unpack yadda yadda and in 15 minutes it's all undone.  I guess it's my fault for not telling him I hid their very obvious Valentine’s Day baskets in the dark laundry room.
OK I calm down and tell the girls it's time to get ready for bed when I notice stickers on the side table.  This annoys me because that is a big rule.  I hate trying to peel the sticky tacky tape crap off of furniture.  I ask the girls if they remember the rules and what they are.  They do and insist that neither one did it.  I look at Steve for back up and see it all over his face.  DAMN-IT STEVE!!!!!!!!